It comes when we're least expecting it.
After moving forward with such momentum (planning my next steps, moving back to Peru, finding who I need to speak with, etc.) I've officially hit a brick wall. Things aren't moving as quickly as they once were. Where there was once open road, there are now various roadblocks.
I've had to move out of my friend's house due to their landlady, and now I'm living with one of their friend's who owns a hostel (luckily it's just a block or two away from my friends though :) ).
I don't have internet. After searching for 2 days (because my laptop for some reason wouldn't connect to the free internet that Miraflores offers and that all of the restaurants use), I've found free wifi -- with the purchase of a small item at the Starbucks in Barranco. Not too bad, I guess.
Starting a business in the United States would be simple for me. But no, I chose to go to another country to do it. hmph! While I feel comfortable in understanding Spanish, the technical words and industry specific terms are starting to take a toll. To top it off, I'm trying to figure this thing out all by myself. The owner of the hostel has been super helpful in providing me with contacts to more information, but again, as things are running on Peruvian time, I'm losing encouragement as the process is going much slower and I still have yet to speak with or check out producers.
I feel...
Loneliness.
The hostel I'm at is empty. It's just me due to personal reasons with the landlord and his mother that lives upstairs. He only takes people upon recommendation. This said, it's hard finding people to talk to and meet. I know this and my wifi trouble could all be solved if I moved to the sister hostel of the one I stayed at in Mancora. But then, would I be able to concentrate? Also, the owner of the hostel, while he's not always physically there, when he is and we talk, he has been very helpful by driving me to meet people and giving me connections. I don't think I'd be able to get that if I stayed at some party hostel -- although it's awesome.
Frustration.
I want everything to be done now! Am I going about it the right way? I need at least SOME sort of sign that things are happening. I feel like nothing is. Are things really coming together? I don't know. Why is it taking so long? Will this business even be profitable? I want to help people, and I need to make money for a living. Will this be doing enough to help those who need it, including myself? What if I'm slacking? Am I slacking?! What else could I, or should I, be doing?!
Assurance.
Through all of these emotions, somehow, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will succeed. That's the scary thing. This is definitely not hope. "Hope" still allows for a margin of error...but inside, I have the confidence and assurance that everything WILL come together. hahahaha. It's a weird feeling actually, considering the other feelings as well.
Hello. My name is Jasmine. I am an entrepreneur. I am a traveler. I help people all around the world. I speak multiple languages. I am free from all personal and financial debt. I know what success means to me and I am living it. The world is mine. I mold it to how I want and have fun with it.
Walls were meant to be broken down. Sit back and watch as I tear this one down as well.
Follow your dreams!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I decided to switch things up and go on a bus tour. Hahaha. Super touristy?! I know!
This place was awesome! I saw skeletons and bones and stuff, in the catacombs (hahaha I sound silly. I know). Unfortunately we're not allowed to take pics there.
Yummy, yummy arroz con mariscos.
*********************************************************************************
*Ayahuasca: Take 2
I find it interesting that the second time I took the Ayahuasca, I asked for fearlessness in pursuing my goals. While I will not and can not connect the Ayahuasca to this feeling, I will say, I do feel more conscious when fear tries to make itself present in my life and hold me back. This is when I take it as a challenge and purposely go against my fear. I won't say I'm fearless yet, but I will say I am more fear conscious, and have been taking on all of my fears. :)
I decided to write this here, at the end, because I can only cite having this sense of fear consciousness since taking the medicine. I wonder how I would have faired if I wasn't so conscious of how to tackle fears of success and failure before returning to Peru...
Just thought it was interesting to note.
